Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Playing with Tiger

I have been swinging the Tiger by the tail ever since golf and sex legend Tiger Woods offered his public apology to the world for cheating on his wife. My website currently features two videos satirizing the apology saga. "Tiger Woods: Corporate Apology" is a fictionalized rambling apology delivered by Tiger Woods via an action-figure press conference featuring fashion dolls as Woods' mother and wife. "I'm Sorry I'm Tiger" is a Dean Jay song and music video cut from the same footage as the doll press conference.

The point of all this satire is to show the ridiculous nature of the apology saga. Tiger is mainly apologizing to his corporate sponsors. It is pure corporate theatre. We should look and laugh, then move on. There is no wisdom to be distilled from the Tiger Woods sex scandal. The only person I can imagine who possibly deserves an apology from this man is his wife. Even then, I really don't know anything.

Dean Robinson doesn't empower women

On the podcast, people can often hear me talking about the female image and the role women play in our cultures and societies. Sometimes I say stuff like "I want to empower women" when saying stuff like that makes me sound like an idiot. So let me clarify.

Dean Robinson does not empower women. I am just a guy out here who realizes that guys have screwed everything up. Directionless male energy typically moves toward war. We could use a woman's touch in world affairs.

Black and White is stupid male-oriented thinking

The complex discussion of race relations in the United States has idiotically been mixed up, then distilled into two equal and opposing parts: black and white. The situation is so dumb that is should be painfully apparent. How can we have a rational discussion about race when we can only discuss black and white? We cannot. Too much is left on the cutting-room floor.

War and Peace are dance partners, not choices

War encompasses lots of action and activity, while peace encompasses nothingness and nothing happening. That's why we tell dead people to "rest in peace." Nothing happens when everything is at peace. The ancient rune for death is the classic peace symbol.

When one chooses peace, one chooses the end of activity: death. Death is not an alternative to war. Death is the result of war.

We don't necessarily want peace. We want love, creativity and healing.

Get it right, people.

Heroes: Super, Sports, War and Otherwise (Sports Fantasy)

The American male is being dragged through a perpetual stated of arrested mental and emotional development, complete with the bombardment of sports and entertainment idolatry. U.S. men are trained from childhood to glorify fictional demigods like Superman and sports heroes like LeBron James. Hollywood helps boys graduate from comic books into manhood with its computer-assisted real-life motion picture adaptations of super-hero lore. If guys get really lucky, perhaps Tinsel Town will turn its sights back to sports heroes like Shaq playing D.C. super dudes like "Steel."

A Day in the Life of the Working Domesticated American Male

It's a shame that women have to compete for the herded cattle that is the Domesticated American Male.

The day starts with the alarm clock, demanding that the man get to work on time OR ELSE. Three tardies could result in a demerit, which means a visit to the Human Resources office. There the discussion of other matters in the man's disciplinary file are discussed. Diversity training may be required.

After being chastised, the domesticated male is sent back to work, pacified by two daily 15-minutes breaks and 30 minutes for lunch. stick with that regime and everything will be fine.

At the end of the day, the final whistle blows and the gates lift to allow the cattle to escape to their automobiles in the parking lot. Before even reaching his car, the domesticated male gets on the cell phone to call the old lady to tell her he is on his way home — just like he is every day at about this time.

Upon reaching home, the domesticated male eats some grub before settling into a two-hour marathon of online "Call of Duty" video-game action.

The Working Domesticated American Male gets all of his information about the illegal U.S. invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan NOT from studying the truth, but from playing high-end video games like the best-selling "Call of Duty" series.

Are you getting this, ladies? You want THESE guys to put a ring on it?

Girl Power promoted Prohibition

Before the ladies take over, I suggest researching the 18th amendment to the Constitution of the United States, which made manufacture, sale and transportation of alcoholic beverages illegal. Illegal booze and drugs provide a stream of undocumented cash to dealers, including the United States federal government via the Central Intelligence Agency (C.I.A.). The C.I.A. is the global leader in cocaine and heroin trafficking. Google it if you don't believe me.

Anyway, the 18th amendment was largely the result of women voters organizing and exercising their right to vote. In the process, the were manipulated into blaming alcohol for our nation's ills, thus creating a new stream for legal and illegal cash into the law-enforcement system.

Exploring mainstream media through parody and satire

This headline does not require expansion. I mean, what more can I say here?

When a tree falls in Tiger Woods, everybody hears everything

Tiger Woods is a magical place called the United States of America, where celebrities shine bright and are worshipped beyond reason.

There is an old saying that addresses a tree falling in the woods with not a single creature within earshot of the event. Does the impact make a sound? No one can say for sure.

When a tree falls in TIGER Woods, EVERYBODY hears EVERYTHING..

That's enough Tiger talk. Please move along. Nothing to see here.

The Usual Distractions from the Usual Government Criminality

A friend recently said to me "You're always saying these big celebrity 'news' stories usually server to cover up something. What is the Tiger Woods story covering up?"

Well, there's the usual, ongoing government criminality too great to list here. Let's just confine ongoing criminality to the USA PATRIOT Act. Candidate Obama said he would end it — even though in 2005 Senator Obama voted to extend it. President Obama hasn't repealed it — he uses it daily to strip people of their rights.

The day before Tiger Woods Apology Day — some sort of Lenten self-flagellation ceremony — the I.R.S. building in Austin, TX was flown into by a single-engine plane — possibly a non-piloted drone — causing massive damage to the seven-story building. Only two people were killed in a building in which normally 200 I.R.S. employees work.

White House sez flying plane into Austin, TX I.R.S. building is not terrorism

The White House says the act was NOT terrorism, probably because it didn't receive enough media coverage to actually scare anyone.

Wall-to-wall coverage of Tiger's apology obscured coverage of the news-worthy event.

NATO army follows U.S. military command

Tiger's apology also covered scores of civilian deaths dues to NATO - U.S.military-led drone strikes on innocent civilians.

Using the term NATO is the mainstream media's way of obscuring the fact that the alleged "international army" largely consisted of U.S. military. The NATO army follows the command of the United States military.

NATO stands for North Atlantic Treaty Organization. It is a group of 28 countries that band armies together for the purpose of enforcing the North Atlantic Treaty agreed upon in 1949. The United States military spends more on its military than the other 27 countries combined. That is why the United States military leads NATO (also known as OTAN)

NATO kills citizens and civilian police

With its legacy extending from 1949, NATO just recently announced that it killed seven civilian police officers in Pakistan. Thirteen Pakistanis were killed by U.S. troops on February 15. Days later, U.S. military-led NATO troops killed 27 civilians with a drone attack on a convoy of innocent citizens.

The recent U.S. troop surge in Afghanistan is largely in place to protect the poppy fields on the country. Poppy is used in heroin production.

Don't Call it A Stimulus: California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger

On a recent episode of "ABC This Week," Schwarzenegger revealed the true split-minded behavior of politicians. Check out the transcript here.

When asked if the country needs another stimulus, Schwarzenegger says "Well, I don't think that we need another stimulus as much as what we need is just to do what we have been talking about over the last two years, and that is rebuild America, because that will create jobs.

"So if you build this infrastructure and do what was recommended, $2.2 trillion of infrastructure, that will put a huge amount of people to work and it really will stimulate the economy," Arnold says.

Just don't call it a stimulus.

Schwarzenegger bragged about the fact that he jammed a redistricting issue down the throats of California voters after the people rejected the proposal four times. Arnold summons the wisdom of sports to declare that he will NEVER listen to the will of the people.

This is what Arnold Scwarzenegger actually said: "Just the redistricting -- it was a perfect example. Five times, we tried redistricting. And we had lost and lost and lost. And people said, don't you get the message that people said no?

"And I said, no, I will never get the message. I will always try and try. And the fifth time, we got it, and we won it."

Are you getting this? Arnold says "I will NEVER get the message" from the people. He is not listening to citizens.

Schwarzenegger suggest that Republicans do "whatever it takes" to get elected, especially when it means promising the exact opposite behavior in which politicians normally engage.

In other words, encourage deficit spending and huge, unresponsive government in practice but encourage fiscal responsibility and small, responsive government as an election-campaign platform.

"Gay" men protest for right to out-of-the-closet-kills in Afghanistan

When we live in a society in which homosexual men protest for the right to become a U.S. government-owned contract killer, we have to realize that we live with madness.

The word "gay" for centuries has meant "happy." It wasn't until the early 20th century that the word came to be used to describe male homosexual activity.

The word to describe woman-on-woman sex — lesbos or lesbian — already existed for thousands of years, proving that the word "gay" does not encompass women. The so-called "gay" community (using the word "gay" incorrectly in the first place) refers to men. That is why we often hear the phrase "Gay and lesbian community."

It is not difficult to notice the confusion when one actually explores the meaning and origination of words.

Until then, homosexual men will fight for the right to shoot and kill openly alongside guys who love "Call of Duty."

Is "Call of Duty" popular in the "gay" community?

If I were draft age and there was a draft, I would tell the collectivist U.S. Army thugs "I am gay. I am so happy and joyous. I am the happiest guy around. You didn't say anything about homosexual. You said gay!

"I can't fight for you, dog, Do I have to get my lawyer up in here?

"I'm out!"